Prayer journal entry 9/16/2018

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This fostering thing has brought so many changes and challenges that I never would’ve thought of. One thing we didn’t think about while accepting a little boy the same age as Annabelle, (3 1/2) was the fact that he isn’t potty trained. Now I know they say boys can take longer, add on top of that the fact that he’s already very delayed developmentally… However, when he hides around the corner to poop and I know that he understands when he has to go, it upsets me. I spend 𝑎𝑙𝑙 day putting him on the toilet for a good while each time, and know he gets what he’s supposed to do and then right after telling me he doesn’t have to ‘go’ he turns right around and poops in his pull-up. I get so frustrated! This just happened, and I tried to control my temper. I honestly was praying for God to help me to show 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄. Wipe poop, pray, wipe more poop, pray some more.
As I was asking for help showing grace and to still be loving, I said out loud, “God, I don’t know how you do it.” He shows us such amazing grace each and everyday! All day, everyday. How many times do we make the same mistakes over and over? We’d rather sit in our own poop, so to speak. 😘 Search the internet what you swore you wouldn’t anymore, give into that addiction again, lose your temper in a fit of rage… this list goes on. We do what we know we shouldn’t, over and over again, yet He shows us grace. This is why it is so amazing. Paul, who wrote like half of the New Testament, even wrote in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I remember reading that verse, getting confused a bit by the wording and having to read again to understand. That was before I really knew Jesus as well as I do now, and before I really understood what sin I struggle with. Now I get it, Paul.
Yet, God still shows 𝐦𝐞 grace! Amazing! 🙌🏽