Over the last few years God has kept the word “vulnerable” on my heart. I feel like I have always hoped to seem like I actually have things together. There have been times in my life when I even tricked myself into thinking I actually DID have things “together!” HA! 😆
As I made my walk with the Lord more known publicly, I thought that if I’m representing myself as a Christian gal then I can’t reveal the nutcase I really feel I am. 😜 (Side note: I’ll be 42 next month, and I still don’t feel mature enough to call myself a “woman”)

When I thought of good godly women, I thought of ladies who looked smart, happy all the time, not coocoo cachoo. If we’re leading others to Christ, and representing being a Christian, we can’t appear to be loony right? 🤷🏽‍♀️ My thought was that I was reppin’ God and the Christian life well by looking happy all the time, not airing my dirty laundry and revealing my crazy to the world.

God began speaking to this lie I was believing. He started showing me that if I allow myself to be open, honest and vulnerable to myself and others, it allows them to feel comfortable doing the same. If I reveal, “Hey guess what! I’m actually SO incredibly flawed! I’m pretty jacked up in the mind, and make mistakes on the DAILY!”, it lets others feel more comfortable saying, “Oh my goodness, me too!”
I honestly thought I was alone and the only one dealing with this. I thought “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I be normal?”

Something the enemy loves to do is make us feel like we’re alone in whatever struggles we’re facing. We have to remember that Jesus Himself told us in John 10:10 that the enemy comes “only to steal, kill, and destroy.” The thought that we’re alone in our struggle is a lie straight from the pit of hell! The enemy is so sneaky. Instead of being obvious, he whispers things to us that can be close to the truth so that we are tricked into believing it. I used to think if I seem like I have my act together, I’m representing God well. I mean, who wants to be a Christian if they see I’m still hurting and struggling?

God allowed me to see that when I started opening up about my struggles with depression and anxiety, it led others to reach out to me and reveal their struggles as well. These were people I never would’ve guessed in a million years! Not only was I encouraging others to be more comfortable around me, but it helped in my own healing process. I think so many people are misled into believing that once they give their lives to Jesus, things are suddenly all peachy keen. However, in John 16:33 Jesus even tells us in this world we WILL have trouble. He tells us in John 15:20, “if they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.” Things aren’t always going to be peachy! The moment I stop trying to control everything and everyone around me, and stop worrying about what people think of me, it’s a HUGE relief! I love the second part of John 16:33, “But take heart! I have overcome the world!”

I spend time with my Heavenly Father, rest in His lap, tell Him my struggles, and ask for help. Some days I feel like I’m making progress, but a lot of days I feel like I’m just praying my way through the day… constantly relying only on God’s strength.  Then… I hear Him saying, “Now you have it. Lean on me. Rely on MY strength. We can do this together. I am here to help.” ❤